Art is like CuttingArt is like cutting.It takes a lot ofEmotion and MotivationTo do it and it makes You feel alive.Both can become a hobby, yet,Both are challenging.Until they turn into a feelingAnd you just do them automaticallyTo Feel Something.Till they don't hurt you anymore,And you do them out of passion.Scars might fade,But art saves.
Don't I deserve it?Why is the flesh so fragile?Soft skin turns to jagged red linesThe day before the snow cameThree years ago so similarRight to this day, before the moon came outThis life I live, it frightens themOne week ago I finally went insaneI cut some more jagged linesRight down to the bone, my loveI hope this hurts youAs much as it hurts me every dayDon't I deserve it, my love?After all, I blame youAll of my insecurities, spoon fedOnly by you, my sweet loveSo go home, let me restDo I not deserve it, my love?
Bad ConsequencesFood lost its tasteDrinking lost its fun (I still do it 'cause is a habbit)Sleeping turned out to be uselessSo as listening to my favourite songsI have no pleasure in reading books or watching my favourite moviesI don't feel like talking to anyoneI don't wanna see anyoneThe look in my eyes changedI can't think of anything else but that unpleasant subjectI shouldn't have talked about it on therapy...
I'm lyingI'm fucking fine.Just dandy my dear.Though my wrist are torn,my lips sewed shut,my heart crumbled on the flooras I curl up in a tiny corner.I'm still fine.I am taking my medicine.I'm doing what you want.I am crying myself to sleep at night.I'm just fine.I have a smile on my face.I have my sleeves pulled down.I am standing here, aren't I?I'm fine.Why don't you believe me?Everything is okay.How are you today?Oh, me? I'm just fine.but I'm lying again.
self hatredI don't know how you could see this body as perfectWhen all I see is mistakesI'm not sure how you looked into my eyes and said you saw angelswhen all I can see is deep darkness hiding demons in the shadowsYou claimed I'm was too skinny and needed to eatI say I'm not skinny enough and refuse to touch anythingYou said I should open I say I'm under lock and keyYou said you where leavingI want you to stayYou said I was beautiful I only see uglinessYou said you'd returnI knew you wouldn'tYour last words to me where full of hateand finally we agreed on something
20 Reasons not to Kill Yourself1.)You are not worthless. Even if you think no one cares about you, someone does.2.)You're beautiful. If someone ever told you were ugly, they are wrong. Beauty comes in all shapes and it is in the eye of the beholder.3.)You would never be able to listen to your favorite songs again.4.)You could never feel rain again, never feel the warmth of a fire or breeze in the crisp fall air. You would never be able to have the feeling swimming in the ocean or the sun on your cheeks5.)Because someone told you to kill yourself. You should never listen to anything like that, because they are not worth crying over. Not worth dying over either.6.)
DepressionHave you seen past that smile?Have you seen past her makeup and fake laugh?Haven't you wonder why she barely talk?Haven't you wonder why she doesn't eat that much when she out?Look pass that smile.Look pass the makeup and fake laugh.Look in to the pain.Look in to the sadness.She starves her self most days.She doesn't talk for fare she will say the wrong things.There is more to her then you know.There is less of her ever day.Depression takes over her body.Depression takes over her mind.
Was It All A Lie?The funny thing is, You can walk past me And totally ignore me Acting like I don't exist Without an inch of guilt in your black heart After all the things we have been through After all the times we have been there for each other And you act like it never happenedThe funny thing is, You can look in the mirror Thinking you're the best Thinking you are too good for everyone After all the things I have done for you After all the things we have put each other through Through thick and thin And totally forget that I was once in your life That you needed meThat you loved meIt's like you're a totally different per
I Want To Want ItI'm stuckI don't know if I want outBut I want to want it.I don't want to stop cuttingIf I'm honest..I Love the scars that are accumulating I Love the way my limbs lookCompletely covered in bloodConsumed by cuts big and smallBut deep down insideThe pure me, the small piece leftwants to want to stopI want to kill myselfSo badly, It be so much easier Just to silently stop breathingI want it so bad I've triedI want it like nothing elseBut I don't want to want itDeep down inside Beneath the shiny, pink scar tissueThere is a little girlThat girl is silenced nowBut she wants to be happyShe wants to live
Just take a momentSo I had a dream last nightIt was really . . . niceI had no scarsno scabs nothing but clean skinI looked so happyI had tons of friendsI was being rewarded for my gradesI didn't look illI was wearing shortsI was doing stuff I hasn't in yearslike swimming in the oceanor at the poolWalking around the house in short sleevesI couldn't help but wonder'is this how life would beIf I didn't make that first cut?Would I not be addicted to smokingOr not want to drink?'I looked so happyIt was that kind of happiness everyone wants to reach tooThe kind I would die forThis is me saying thisA girl who at the age
The Layers of SkinShe laughs out loud.Talking to herself. She's crazy.She doesn't care though.She's happy.She laughs.She smiles. This girl is surrounded with her friends.Happy with her life.She sighes.She cries.She can't cope with the stress.Stress of work.Stress of life.Then the feeling that all of these other feelings simmer to eventually. Depressed.Dead. Down.Drained.She wants to scream.She wants to shout.She wants to let it all out.But her anger she must bury.Otherwise a rampage of spilling out swear words and other vile. Out of control, reckless and stupid. Not thinking of consequences.So look emotionles
Down the Rabbit HolePlay this game so carefully aloneLest a Cheshire cat deceive you.He will grin so wickedly sweetAnd then disappear like smoke.Are your cards as black as ashOr a dripping chrisom?Unfortunately you die either way,Wonderland is no place for the sane.By the rabbits clock,Everyone is late to madness.So to stay, as the red queen orders,You just have to take off your head.Follow the mad march hareHe will lead you on to tea time.Partake in madness, Sip at the delicate softness of insanity before you wake.You are the right one after allAnd so this gift belongs to you.Embrace it, Alice. Death is just the beginning.
If you want to talk or something, feel free to send me a private note.