Don't I deserve it?Why is the flesh so fragile?Soft skin turns to jagged red linesThe day before the snow cameThree years ago so similarRight to this day, before the moon came outThis life I live, it frightens themOne week ago I finally went insaneI cut some more jagged linesRight down to the bone, my loveI hope this hurts youAs much as it hurts me every dayDon't I deserve it, my love?After all, I blame youAll of my insecurities, spoon fedOnly by you, my sweet loveSo go home, let me restDo I not deserve it, my love?
Just take a momentSo I had a dream last nightIt was really . . . niceI had no scarsno scabsnothing but clean skinI looked so happyI had tons of friendsI was being rewarded for my gradesI didn't look illI was wearing shortsI was doing stuff I hasn't in yearslike swimming in the oceanor at the poolWalking around the house in short sleevesI couldn't help but wonder'is this how life would beIf I didn't make that first cut?Would I not be addicted to smokingOr not want to drink?'I looked so happyIt was that kind of happinesseveryone wants to reach tooThe kind I would die forThis is me saying thisA girl who at the age of 13stop wearing shorts and short sleevesA girl who lied to everyoneA girl who wanted loveDon't make that first cutYou wont be able to control itno matter how strong you think you areThey will get deeperTo the point that this cut could kill youThey will become worstThat 10 will turn into 100You can't keep it to just one spotIt will spreedIt will become someth
Need to Feel PainI feel the hurtevery time I look backthe Pain I always feeldeep inside meI always have these urgesthat I need to feel pain...it was the only true feeling I feltand without it I'm lost in this worldI want to cut my arms...I want to cut my legsjust to watch the blood pouringand to feel the pain deep insideI want to hurt...to know that I can feel in this worldI need to feel pain...its like a drug to me...The cuts I lovethe pain i can feelI just want my arms to bleedand to feel the scars....Cutting every inch of mejust to feel the pain deep insideTo watch the blood pour down...on the body that deserves pain....
HeroI kinda just want to get in my car and drive.....drive and drive and drive until I'm lostand then sit on the side of the road and cry until I can't breatheand slice the heck out of my arms, just for old time's sakeand stain my clothes with my bloodand then I want to drive and drive untilI find someone else crying on the side of the roadand I want to hug them.I want to hold them and cry with them and show them what bleeding on purpose does to people.I want to show them that the way I am treating myself and have treated myselfis not the answerThere are better ways to liveThere are better ways to careYou can move forward and live and move onand be greater and more beautifulthan you ever thought you could beYouareperfectYou don't need me to tell you thatSo take a moment to breatheand just livejust stand up and shout at the world and tell themthey don't matter, the only thing that mattersis breathing; living; loving; moving on; forward;
Soul ScreamingFrom this safe haven you rebel,finding loop holes in punishmentyou begged for. Appeals you denyto have spoken, but ones I can't denyI've heard.The soul speaks too,and yours hasn't stopped screaming.